A Bottom Squeezer’s Appeal to the Middle Twisters

My dear children,

unnamedAm I the only one who sees the problem here? Is it not clear that dispensing the toothpaste will be severely hampered by the random twist in the middle of the tube? You have created a dam, a mangled obstruction which will prevent the toothpaste in the bottom of the tube from flowing up and out. Furthermore, the cap is MIA and thus the remnant toothpaste that coats the opening of the tube AND the toothpaste that is inside the tube, near the opening, when exposed to the air for a prolonged period of time, will harden and clog the aforementioned opening. It makes me wonder how you are going about brushing your teeth.  I think I may need to conduct oral inspections asap.   Anyway, I took it upon myself to undo what is done.  I had to actually put some time and effort into cleaning up your little mess. I untwisted it, soaked it and snaked it. It took 3 minutes out of my day. So, multiply that by 10, and you shall give me 30 minutes of your day today with extra chores (insert evil laugh here).

And on a side note, please stop having toothpaste infused spitting contests in the bathroom. Whoever spit toothpaste on the mirror is clearly the winner. Whoever spat on the rim of the sink, you don’t have the distance, but you win with texture and consistency. That one took a little extra elbow grease.

Love, Mom.


4 responses to “A Bottom Squeezer’s Appeal to the Middle Twisters

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